Today's Irk: "The 13th Floor"

A.K.A. That really stupid superstition likely conjured up by some waspy old cat lady

Irk Factor: 2/5

This one is almost as funny as it is stupid. I'm sure you have noticed that most buildings over 12 stories seem to "leave out" the 13th floor for stuperstitious (no, I didn't spell superstitious wrong) reasons. Apparantly, the 13th floor would be bad luck, although interestingly enough, most of these buildings still contain the room#666, which seems like it would be worse to me.

This really makes me wonder...Do people actually feel relieved to know they are on the "14th floor" rather than the 13th? Surprise, dipshit! You're still on the 13th floor, except now you're in blatant denial. From what I hear, denial is what kills you.

It really floors me (pun intended) that some paranoid bastard actually suggested leaving out the number 13 in the elevators, but what absolutely blows my fucking mind is that someone else took them seriously!

If I ever own a skyscraper, I WILL include the 13th floor. Anyone who complains about their floor being unlucky will be escorted to the 7th floor and shot. But they'll be fine, becuase the 7th floor is lucky, right?

That's ridiculous.
But that's just my opinion.

-Adam

Today's Irk: Airport Security

A.K.A. Overkill, Cavity search, Violation of rights

Irk Factor: 2/5

Do you remember the days when people could pass through the airport with a little respect? So do I. But since 9/11, those days are gone forever. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the security and protection of innocent lives, but we really need to draw the line somewhere.

Once on the actual plane, you can be given a KNIFE with your dinner, but god help your sorry ass if you try to smuggle a bottle of water on to the plane, let alone a box of chocolate. That’s probably grounds for a cavity search nowadays. But...why?

Personally, I’d love to meet the first terrorist who stood up mid-flight and yelled “THIS IS A HIJACKING!” before pointing a water bottle at a stewardess. Or better yet, the first guy who attempted to bring down a plane with a Ferrero Rochet. Is a nut-filled chocolaty delight really that big of a threat to national security?

I think any overzealous security guard that interrogates a 15 year old girl for trying to “smuggle” a water bottle through security should be forced into a cavity search by someone with elephantitis of the hand.

But that's just my opinion.

-Adam

Today's Irk: Kids on a Leash

A.K.A. Neglect, Future serial killers, Children of parents that should be shot.

Irk Factor: 4/5


Typically when you think of a leash, you think of a dog on a collar and chain, maybe a monkey or something; NOT an infant child sporting a tether attached to a clearly incompetent parent.

I first witnessed this phenomenon on TV, and thought it to be nothing more than a joke. I was wrong.
Then I visited Miami, and low and behold, I actually saw a kid on a fucking leash. Only in America.

This raises several questions, such as: What could that 3 year old have possibly done to deserve such a humiliating restraint? Does he occasionally make a bee-line for the nearest body of water? Or is the parent too busy with his chronic gambling and alcoholism to pay one single iota of attention to his own offspring? Or perhaps most importantly...WHAT KIND OF INCOMPETENT FUCKBAG INVENTED THIS CONTRAPTION?!?

Seriously, am I the only person who sees a problem here? First of all, if that poor neglected kid ever looks at a childhood photo of himself on a leash, he’s probably going to murder his parents, assuming he doesn’t immediately commit suicide. Secondly, you look like a fucking jackass. Sorry, Mr. Incompetent Dad, but being tethered to your child makes you look like one seriously irresponsible, yet still over-protective idiot.

Honestly, be a PARENT or don’t be a parent. Don’t be a shithead with your kid on a leash.

I hereby sentence all parents with their kids on a leash to be tethered to a concrete block and thrown into the English Channel.

But that’s just my opinion.

-Adam

Welcome to The Irk Factor

Hello friends, family, and creepy people that browse blogs.

What you have stumbled upon is the next best thing since verbally complaining, which, for those of you that know me, I do a lot of.

I figure it's about time to start putting my complaints to a somewhat productive use, and thus, The Irk Factor is born. "What the hell is The Irk Factor?" you ask.

The dictionary defines "Irk" as "To irritate, annoy or bother". This blog will focus on the little querks in life that seemingly everyone thinks "What the fucking fuck?" when they think about or witness. It will also rate each of these things on a scale of 1-5, based on how much they Irk me, the writer. And of course, I will rant about each of these things, tearing them apart as critically as possible.

I am writing this blog simply to amuse myself as well as you, the reader.
Maybe one day this will be a famous blog, and will revolutionize the world as we know it.

But probably not. Enjoy :)

-Adam