Today's Irk: Kids on a Leash

A.K.A. Neglect, Future serial killers, Children of parents that should be shot.

Irk Factor: 4/5


Typically when you think of a leash, you think of a dog on a collar and chain, maybe a monkey or something; NOT an infant child sporting a tether attached to a clearly incompetent parent.

I first witnessed this phenomenon on TV, and thought it to be nothing more than a joke. I was wrong.
Then I visited Miami, and low and behold, I actually saw a kid on a fucking leash. Only in America.

This raises several questions, such as: What could that 3 year old have possibly done to deserve such a humiliating restraint? Does he occasionally make a bee-line for the nearest body of water? Or is the parent too busy with his chronic gambling and alcoholism to pay one single iota of attention to his own offspring? Or perhaps most importantly...WHAT KIND OF INCOMPETENT FUCKBAG INVENTED THIS CONTRAPTION?!?

Seriously, am I the only person who sees a problem here? First of all, if that poor neglected kid ever looks at a childhood photo of himself on a leash, he’s probably going to murder his parents, assuming he doesn’t immediately commit suicide. Secondly, you look like a fucking jackass. Sorry, Mr. Incompetent Dad, but being tethered to your child makes you look like one seriously irresponsible, yet still over-protective idiot.

Honestly, be a PARENT or don’t be a parent. Don’t be a shithead with your kid on a leash.

I hereby sentence all parents with their kids on a leash to be tethered to a concrete block and thrown into the English Channel.

But that’s just my opinion.

-Adam